8 steps to writing your perfect wedding vows

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

So you're getting married and thinking about writing your own vows? All I can say is do it! Writing your own vows is a beautifully personal way to celebrate your love for each other on your wedding day.

Hubby and I went for it, and the vow section of our ceremony is something I'll remember always.

Writing perfect vows was hard work though. So from someone who's been there and done it - here are my top 8 tips to writing your perfect wedding vows...

8 steps to writing perfect wedding vows
  1. First - decide do you want traditional vows, or to write your own?
    If you opt to write your own vows you'll be creating something personalised and very special for each other, that your guests will  enjoy too. However writing your own vows can be scary - so the decision needs to be made together.

    For me hubby was always keen to write our own, but I had to be convinced. I was nervous about sharing my personal thoughts and feelings in such a public way. In the end I came around to the idea, and I'm so thankful now that I did, as the words we shared I'll never forget.

    If you do decide to write your own vows ask someone you trust to read both sets of vows in advance to ensure you are both writing roughly the same amount. If possible you want to try and speak for roughly the same amount of time each.

    And if you decide to stick to the traditional route - that's great too. For many people the traditional wedding vows hold important significance.

  2. Are you religious?
    If not it is okay to remove any religious references from your vows. We did, and no-one even noticed.

  3. Write down everything you love about your other half - the fun part!!
    Are they funny? Caring? Any interesting quirks? Think about that moment when you knew you loved them, and what still makes your heart 'flip-flop' today. This will put you in the right frame of mind while writing your vows.

    If you have writers block try thinking about:
    - What's their best quality?
    - What's your favourite memory of your partner?
    - How do you feel when you're together?
    - Any attributes you love to hate?

  4. Make promises to each other.
    What would you like to promise forever and ever? Be specific here, and think long term.

    It's okay to inject a bit of humour if you want to - as long as you sincerely mean what you are saying. For example, I promised 'to always laugh at hubby's jokes' (he has a interesting sense of humour), and to 'share my food with him when he's finished his and is still hungry'.

    Remember that you're making a life long pact, so you want it to mean something to both of you, and that will make your relationship healthier.

    If you're after some extra inspiration try YouTube. Here are some very sweet vows I came across while writing mine.

  5. Pull everything together into a 'sweet love bundle' of amazing vows :)
    Start by declaring your love for your other half. I said "J - from the moment I saw you accross the room, those sparkling blue eyes, that cheeky smile, I knew you were something else. To put it simply you made me swoon. And you still do..."

    Next, add some personal touches such as a shared memory or when you knew that he was the right person for you or the thing that makes you love him more every day.

    Lastly, include your promises to one another. These can be funny, sweet and serious, but make sure you end on a loving note.

  6. Consider what your emotional state might be when it comes to saying 'I do'.
    Are you likely to be nervous or break into tears? If so you might be more secure following the 'repeat after me' route. If you're super confident and have decided to write your own words you might even choose to speak from memory. Hubby and I took the middle road - we wrote our own words, but had them typed and read from paper to take the pressure off.

  7. Practice makes perfect.
    Practice standing and speaking in front of a mirror. Think about the body language you want to use on the actual day, and make sure you know your vows well enough to have some eye-contact while saying them. Hubby and I held hands while we said ours.

  8. Lastly, consider having your vows - or whole ceremony videoed.
    The first time we heard our vows to each other was during our wedding ceremony as we said them. But with so much adrenaline pumping I'm glad the moment was captured on camera as it's hard to remember all the details and reactions. We have loved being able to re-live the moment again since.
And once your vows are done and dusted (phew), it's time to relax, celebrate and party!!!!....

Wedding photobooth
pic snapped in our wedding photo booth on our wedding night :)

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  1. those are good things to remember when I ever get married. I hope to do that one day, when I'm planning a wedding. It mades it much more personal.

    1. Thanks Natalie - I hope the list is useful!!

  2. Thank you for this! My wedding date is looming and I really want to write my own vows but honestly didn't know where to start! This is super helpful x

    1. Good luck with your vows Sara. I'm so pleased in hindsight that we wrote our own - it was such a special touch on our wedding day. I'm now in the process of having them framed so we can hang them in our house as a lovely memento :)

  3. Thank YOU! My fiancee and I are literally planning on writing our vows this weekend. I'm so happy you posted this. Excellent advance on having someone else review both vows to make sure they're similar in length.

    1. Yay! Good luck with the writing - it's so worth the effort having vows that are personal to you. Very touching on your wedding day. Glad you found the advise helpful :)

  4. We are doing traditional vows. I have been trying to get my beau to agree to writing them but he's against it -_-; maybe at a future renewal! LOL
    Thanks for linking up at Let Your Light Shine Thursdays!